December giveaway - something to eat your Christmas dinner off!

Thursday 6 December 2012


Competition time again...
We have a set of 4 acorn dinner plates up for grabs.  All you have to do is to tell us a funny Christmas joke, and whoever makes us laugh the most will win the plates. 
Simple :-)

39 comments:

  1. Knock! Knock!
    Who's there?
    Wendy!
    Wendy who?
    Wendy red red robbin comes bob bob bobbin along!

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  2. why are christmas trees like bad knitters?!
    They both drop their needles!

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  3. This is the only joke I can remember, but it involves Xmas so fits the comp.
    So Luke Skywalker is with Darth Vader and Darth Vader says (in muffled way) I know what you've got or Christmas Luke. How do you know that replies Luke! Darth mumbles, I've felt your presence!
    Ha ha

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  4. I just heard this one today, it's very simple but it made me laugh. :)

    Two old ladies were talking about Christmas miracle and than one said: "A virgin birth I can believe, but finding three wise men!!?"

    Have a lovely December!*
    the plates are lovely btw! :)

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  6. Q. What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?

    A. Lost

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  7. Q. What's white and goes up ?
    A. A confused snowflake !

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  8. how does good king wenceslas like his pizza?
    deep pan, crisp and even!

    thank you for the chance to win such lovely plates. merry christmas!!!

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  9. OOh great - I'd love to win, so here's my best Christmas joke.


    What's the difference between brussel sprouts and bogeys?
    Children will eat their bogeys...

    Hope that's not too revolting for Christmas!

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  10. Whats furry and minty?
    A Polo bear

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  11. my fave has to be...

    What do you get if you eat too many Christmas Decorations?

    Tinsel-itis!

    Merry Xmas! xx

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  12. Last year I got a peg leg for Christmas. It wasn't my main present though, just a stocking filler.

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  13. Pizza Hut has a new Christmas pizza. It's called the Good King Wenceslas, it's deep pan, crisp and even.

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  14. Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. Seems to have stopped breathing and his eyes are glazed.
    His friend panicked call emergency services: "My friend is dead What can I do?"
    The operator replied calmly: "Calm down. I can help you. Firstly let us he is dead."
    A moment of silence, followed by a gunshot.
    The hunter takes the handset: "This is good, now what?

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  15. What's Santa Claus' favourite pizza? Calzo-ho-ho-ne!

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  16. Kneeling in front of the fireplace, a boy exclaimed:
    Christmas father, I WANT A TRAIN electric ".
    After a slight pause:
    - "SANTA CLAUS, I WANT A TRAIN electric".
    And again:
    - "SANTA CLAUS, I WANT A TRAIN electric".
    At this time, his father intervened
    - "This is not to shout like this: Santa Claus is not deaf!"
    And the boy answered:
    - "Santa Claus is perhaps not deaf ... but Grandma is!"

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  17. What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

    Can you smell carrot?

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  18. A rich, yet not very clever dad is reading his son's letter to Santa: "So this is what you want hmm... a new computer processor, ok... a flat monitor, right... a mouse, that's easy... a mat for the mouse!?" And then he gets angry: "Son, what will be next? Some slippers for the cockroaches!?"

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  19. How many feminist elves does it take to put the fairy lights on the Christmas tree?
    Answer: One, and it's not funny....

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  20. Q: Who is never hungry at Christmas?
    A: The turkey - he's always stuffed!

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  21. Santa Claus went to the Doctors...
    Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
    Santa: I seem to have a Christmas pud stuck up my bottom!
    Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

    Boom! boom! :)

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  22. Q. Who's the bane of Santa's life?

    A. The elf and safety officer.

    Ho ho ho

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  23. Who delivers presents to cats?
    Santa Paws!

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  24. Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
    He sold his soul to Santa.

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  25. Got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas.
    Not her main present, it's just a stocking filler.

    :) Happy Christmas!!

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  26. What's the grammatically correct name for an elf . . .
    A subordinate claus
    *snort*

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  27. The four stages of life:
    1. You believe in Santa Claus
    2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
    3. You become Santa Claus
    4. You look like Santa Claus.

    :-D Hope I made you laugh. xx

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  28. Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Wayne
    Wayne who?
    Wayne in a manger!

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  29. What's the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel!

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  30. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
    Because he had low elf esteem.

    :-)

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  31. Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill?

    to get to the bottom!

    comedy gold

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  32. What carol is a favourite of parents?

    Silent Night!

    Hope you're getting a few! - Jensen

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  33. Q What did the snowman say to the other snowman?

    A. Can you smell a carrot?

    Mads x

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  34. Why is Prancer always wet...?

    Because he is a rain-deer Ho ho ho Xx

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  35. Father Christmas asked 'what would you get if you crossed a sheep and a porcupine'?
    .. his wife replied 'An animal that can sew its own sweaters! - it'd be handy for next Christmas with the Christmas work jumper craze.. can I put that on MY list?!'

    Enjoy the festivities! Paul

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  36. What’s a good Christmas tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.


    :)

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  37. It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They'd been worn all week and needed the air...

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  38. What a sight squirrels going to see at Christmas ?
    Nutcracker !

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  39. Mary said to Santa, "what's that out-side?"
    Santa replied "it's Reindeer (Rain Dear)"

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